Sunday, 8 April 2012

Confidence and Positivity!

Warning: unplanned, unstructured, rant, ramble post coming up.

I've been a little absent from the blogging/tweeting/social anything scene lately and I'm actually a little embarrassed as to the reason why. I was going to just ignore it and come back posting as normal but I realised I have a good platform to talk about this with other people who might feel the same..

So basically the reason I have been away for a couple of weeks is because I've had a real issue with the way I look/feel lately. It seems a little silly and to lots of  you it might be completely absurd but it has seriously affected the way I feel about, well, everything really. I hate getting ready in the morning and never feel comfortable anymore, I can't stand to see photos of myself and cringe at any compliments. It was when I caught myself almost cancelling plans with my friends that I hadn't seen in ages because I was embarrassed about how I look that I knew I had to snap out of it. If I don't like something about the way I look, I can either change it, deal with it or stay miserable forever but the most important thing is my attitude towards myself has to change.

As people (the majority of us) we are usually so quick to compliment each other and make everyone else feel good but a lot more resistant to being kind to ourselves. Why is this? If we can't be kind to ourselves who can we be nice to!

I've never felt particularly pretty but lately its reached another level. Last week I got some STUPID comments from some stupid boys out of nowhere about the way I look and although my head told me not to listen to it, I did, I got really upset actually. Then I thought about how ridiculous that is, how could I listen to random people I barely know over myself? I need to feel better about myself both the way I look and how I am as a person. This needs to be something I do for myself, if I ever want to succeed in life. Everyday I felt ugly or stupid or boring or mean I could also feel myself becoming more shy and less open to sharing my ideas or going for the things I want in life.

There are a few parts to this post.

Firstly, If you are one of those idiots being cruel to people because it makes you feel big or cool. Shut up! Just stop and think. You have no idea how that person is feeling at that point or all the things that might be happening in their life. Could you really live with  yourself knowing your stupid comments could be the thing that damages the way that person looks at themselves or their abilities FOREVER? Whether face to face or over the Internet it is bullying and there is never an excuse.

The second point is if you feel like you are inadequate or not important I want you to know you are important.  You are beautiful and you can accomplish so much. It's your life and you deserve to be happy. I may not know you but you are important to me and you are special. You are not alone. In fact it's perfectly normal to sometimes feel as though you don't like things about yourself but it is never OK to just not like yourself full stop.

Its unlikely that you will feel so down about yourself and then feel absolutely perfect all of a sudden but you can feel better every day. I have a few ideas that can make you feel more positive about yourself and your life. These are only very little things but sometimes little changes are the things that make the most difference.

Talk to someone
Speak to someone you trust and let them know how you feel. Sometimes they wont understand because they love you and can't see why you wouldn't love yourself as much as they do but they should support you and sometimes just talking about it can really help. I am lucky to have an amazing boyfriend that supports me. I also have amazing friends and really supportive parents. Choose someone you can be yourself with or feel comfortable telling how you feel. You can always talk to me via twitter or email. Just don't keep it bottled up it will only make you feel worse.

Acknowledge an accomplishment
Whether you have done really well at work, finished course work, completed a book or simply chose fruit over a bar of chocolate. You accomplished something! BE PROUD.

Listen to music
Whatever music you love turn it up and dance around your room (or if you have neighbours put in your headphones!). Some favourites of mine for making me feel good just now are:
Nicki Minaj - Starships
Belle Amie - Girls Up
Sean Paul - She Doesn't Mind
Katy Perry - Part of Me
Carly Rae Jepson - Call Me Maybe

Make Plans
Give yourself something to look forward to. I'm going to Turkey in June and I can't wait and getting excited about this is what's making me happy. In the nearer future I'm going out with my friend I haven't seen in weeks on Tuesday another thing to be excited about.

Pamper Yourself
Face mask, long bath, painted nails. Make yourself the centre of your attention tonight. You deserve it.

Not only does exercising help you make positive changes to your health and body its such a mood booster. They say "your only one workout away from a good mood". Even going for a walk outside can make you feel happier.

Watch your favourite film
Comedy, Romantic, Horror, Animation. Stick your favourite film in! I love Mean Girls.

Those are just some things I do when I'm feeling down. Do you have anything you do that makes you feel better?

I know this was a really off topic post but I hope a few people found it helpful. Normal posting will resume in the next couple of days got some outfit of the days and product reviews I can't wait to share.

Please let me know what you thought of this post in the comments box.

& Remember...